I see that I am here
Despite the chaos, I do think life is better recently; at least, that's how I feel internally. I have been crying more recently. Tears are ready to be out of the door when I watch TV shows or when I hear some sob stories. Is this a sign of aging? I remember those years when I didn't cry much. I was tense. I was always on guard, not that I ain't now. I hugged myself tightly so that I couldn't breathe; I taped up when I wanted to scream and cemented my eyes when pain shook my core. I didn't cry much, and I couldn't cry. I numbed myself, put all the feelings in the box, and locked it away till I couldn't find it. If I saw a hint of weakness, the paper castle of my life would crumble. Life flowed through me while I sat still in sorrow and fear. My soul grounded up and flushed out repeatedly. Seating in an empty shell, now, I see that I am here and know that someday I won't be. I heard this is what life is supposed to be.
