If you ever got a chance to peak into my working space, you'd know I haven't watched Marie Kondo's Tidying Up. Was I embracing chaos? Or the mess in my living space was reflecting what's going on in life?

I am a closeted hoarder, and I keep my personal space to myself so that people wouldn't know how much shit I am collecting, and how well I am stacking up stuff. As a stressed shopper, I shopped when I was stressed out. Throughout the years, I gave myself reasons to buy and convinced myself I would use them. Unfortunately, more than often, things are laying around, and they weren't as useful as I thought. Perhaps things I bought did provide me a moment of distraction when I needed an escape from reality. Maybe, I secretly tried to fill my room with random things, so that I could hide among them one day when my room is filled up.

Shopping therapy didn't help much. Chaos in life didn't just go away. Up to a point, I finally slowed down in buying, because I was tired organizing and slowly ran out of space. Challenges in life continued to get intense, and I decided to slow down my pace to do some cleanup. If I couldn't fix every problem in life, at least I could clean up my space a little to give myself some breathing rooms.

Unsurprisingly, I cleared up a massive amount of stuff. I hope people at Goodwill are happy and things will go to people who can use them. The idea of moving and leaving has been brewing. With that in mind, I realized I wouldn't be able to bring most of the things with me. Reviewing my daily routine, I found it surprising how little I need to live; the rest are just sitting in the corners.

I am taking steps to improve my life and my mind. Tidying up is a quick little step I can do to feel better.